Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The LAST Weigh in & Party Time are some pictures.....

Now some numbers

Week 1 Week 12 Difference
Weight 99.2kg 89.5kg -9.7kg
Bust 110cm 105cm - 5cm
Waist 91cm 83cm - 8cm
Hips 120cm 111cm - 9cm
Thigh L 71cm 65cm - 6cm
Thigh R 72cm 65cm - 7cm

That is a total of 35cm lost!!! And JUST short of 10kg for this round. A GRAND total of 20.5kg For both Rounds..... I have just a little smidge of disappointment: So many of the goals I set at the beginning of this Round disappeared. Not sure why, if maybe I set my sights too high or got freaked out a little. Maybe a bit of both. LOL

SO.....the party!!

About this time in 12 hours I will be boarding the train to Sydney. I am HOPING desperately that the floods that are happening around Vic & NSW don't through a spanner in my plans....UUGGghhh Trapped on a train surrounded by water...LOL I am surprisingly calm considering how highly strung I have been leading up to NOW. I do feel a bit sick right now, but I think that is as much the ridiculous humidity we have been having in Melbourne the last 2 weeks. I don't cope well with heat & humidity.

I have had so many thoughts running around my brain the last few weeks, I have written about a dozen blog posts in my head but have never quite gotten them actually posted. Too scared to voice the fears that have been plaguing me, or too scattered to find the few moments it would have taken to type them out. I guess I have been suffering a little from paralysis by analysis. Over-thinking, imagining, projecting... then freaking out a bit. But I am in for better or worse. I think I have imagined every worse case scenario.... which is about normal for me. AND the anxiety is to be expected when I am pushing myself SOOOOO far out of my comfort zone. No pain no gain they say....Michelle talked tonight in the live feed about your brain needing to catchup to the reality of the new body etc. The same applies to me and my ability to do stuff. For so long I have been defined by what I couldn't do. I couldn't drive, therefore I couldn't go out on my own, I hated being home on my own but struggled being out in public with people. I struggled to stand still long enough to cook, I couldn't sit still long enough to eat, I couldn't shower or clean my teeth without having panic attack. I didn't go to the movies for YEARS I missed birthday parties, weddings, funerals and the grief & guilt that goes with missing significant events like that cuts deep.It has really been like life has been lived around me, and I am just an observer. I have finally stopped beating myself up about the things I cannot change and have decided to move forward with purpose. I don't want to be stuck at home anymore I don't want to miss things...

So tomorrow I board the take a big step in recovering my life. Will check in from Sydney to let you know how it went....LOL Maybe even from the train...if I can get internet service...For those of you that I will FINALLY get to meet...I CAN HARDLY wait...YOU guys are my prize for making the journey!!!

cheers & See you in Sydney


Thursday, November 18, 2010

Non scale Victories....

What can a Non Scale Victory have to do with the back end of a couple of cars you ask??

A month or so before I started my first Round of the 12WBT, I found myself in a pickle. Leaving the shopping center rather late, I came back to my car and found the only other car in the carpark, parked SO close to my car that I couldn't get in the drivers door. It also dawned on me that I was in no way capable of either climbing through the back of the car or getting across the console from the passenger side. Thankfully I had the kids with me and my learner driver WAS able to get in and move the car forward so I could drive home.....just a little embarrassing.

Well today it happened again BUT there was more people around (Extra embarrassing) AND no handy skinny extra driver with me to get me out of my bind. Now I accept it was partly my fault, as you can see I am fairly close to the line also (I am the red car) and the angle of the shot actually makes my car look closer than it was. The other driver was probably concerned about the concrete pole on the other side of their park. Thinking like a fat person, I started to freak out just a little....but then I remembered I was not so fat anymore...funny how you have to "remember" that hey! SO with a bit of a wiggle and sucking ALL the way in.....I got in bloody car. I seriously sat in the driver seat thinking bugger me how did I do that?? Grinning like a goof ball at the same time I must add.

SO in a week when the scales have once again been fickle....I am grateful to have a timely reminder that thing are changing: that I AM changing....AND it is making life easier!!



Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Triathlon Tuesday

What a day.......

I was not able to complete my Tri over the weekend and planned to do it today BUT also wanted to wait till I had my HR monitor back. (I sent it away last week to be repaired) Thankfully it came back yesterday so all was GO for today. I am still rated as a beginner as far as exercise goes....but I really want to try and push a little past the distances expected: They were 800m swim, 5km walk/run, 10km Bike ride. Last round I completed the tri at the gym, but now that I am more comfortable on the bike I decided I really wanted to do it all the plan was to walk to pool, swim, walk home & jump on bike. I was not entirely happy about splitting the walk but for practical reasons it was the sensible thing to do.

Set off in a good but possibly apprehensive state of mind....I have very good at the self talk thing....very good at talking myself out of thing actually. But did the 2km to the pool in around 20min. Met my mum, who was planning on paddling around while I churned up & down the pool. The swim leg was the one I was most unsure about and honestly I would prefer to do it of the reasons is the way being in water makes me feel. I HATE that heavy feeling you get when you get out....HATE IT. Does my head in, just like being on the treadmill.....ANYWAY I did my 16 laps and thought, well it is only 4 more to have done the whole off I set. I could really feel my neck tightening had to switch between strokes but I got it done. I jumped in the shower to rinse off. While in there I realized I was feeling extra strange, in fact my head felt SUPER heavy and I felt like I was going to tip over. This of course completely freaked me out.......and I started having one of those conversations in my head. You know the shall I shan't I convo's. Debating whether to walk home or not. I have to admit I bailed & got my mum to drive me home. And once I got home I started the whole "you have let yourself down conversation" Thankfully I rallied, and figured I could head out for more walking and stay close to home, basicly I applied the 10min rule. I started out very slowly & cautiously but thankfully I found my legs and started chewing up the km. I was aiming for 3, so that with the 2 I did at the beginning, I had my 5....but decided on the fly to see how far I could go. I cranked out just over 5, which gives me a total of just under 7km walking. The bike was HARD. Legs very very tired! I have been riding 12km regularly, so I knew I could do more....I just didn't know if I could today after swimming & walking. It was slow, awkward & laboured...but I managed to complete 13.5km. 15 would have been nice but I was running out of time.

So the stats for the day are

Walk: 1.93km - 21:22 / 154 Calories
Swim: 1km - 51:40 / 221 Calories
Walk: 5.01km - 1:06:23 / 456 Calories
Ride: 13.49km - 1:08:33 / 477 Calories

21.43km / 208 min /1308 Calories

Pretty happy with that....who knows what I will like tomorrow....but for now sleep.



PS Cautiously optimistic about weigh in day....will let you know 1 way or the other tomorrow afternoon

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Friday, November 12, 2010

What a week.....

Those of you who follow me on twitter will have gained the impression that I have had an ordinary week. I am sorry if I have been vague, but for a lot of reasons I have felt the need to internalize most of my thoughts & feelings. That is actually a WEIRD frame of mind for me....coz I talk!! I mean really talk....especially when I am upset or nervous.....(You guys who are staying with me in Sydney better get your listening ears ready!!)So as twitter is so VERY limiting in a character sense, I figured a nice long blog post might be the best way to get it all out!!

The week started off on Sunday with news that 3 elderly people whom I love & respect dearly were all really struggling. In one case it was simply an old age thing (94 years old), another The prostate cancer he has been battling for 10 years is finally taking over....the other heart issues. Both of the gentlemen are in their 80's, both in fact celebrated their 60th wedding anniversaries this year within weeks of each other. They have all valued & encouraged me over a number of years and just the thought of their passing has me in tears.

Wednesday morning Elsie left us.....the Funeral is Monday and I am VERY pleased to have been asked to assist with afternoon tea. It will give me something to focus on...I will need it! Rolled up in this sadness I guess is also knowing that Bill & Vic will not be far behind. I feel so grateful to have known these people and pray daily that I will be able to live by their example.

Weigh in day SUCKED.(and until I heard about Elsie I was very miserable about it, funny how life puts things in perspective) I GAINED 1.8kg!! GAINED almost 2 kg in a week?? Uugghh I had predicted with it being T.T.O.M. weigh in would suck but really, even I had not predicted that. I checked again on Thursday & I had LOST 1.1kg overnight.This morning I had LOST another 400g.... Now I KNOW I can fluctuate that much over a week....but I have NEVER had to actually record that...just this month it happened on a Wednesday. I know it is not a "real" gain....but it still bites!

Wednesday was a really really sucky day....coz THEN we noticed that our old and much beloved dog Socks was not well... We actually lost him for an hour, we thought he had gotten out which is one of his favourite tricks. While searching the house for him we found a very large vomit...and that was when alarm bells really started ringing for me. We eventually found him (after dark) tucked away under a bush in the back yard, pretty much comatose. We finally got him to wake up, and stand up but it was obvious he was not well. Off to the Vet at 9pm, sent home with antibiotics & an electrolyte solution. Our dogs sleep inside, well they are always inside so I found it a little strange and very disconcerting when he asked to go out at 4.30am then would not come back in. He curled up on their outside bed, and I decided to leave him in peace. Thursday morning we found him once again curled up way back in the garden....over the course of the morning, he would not eat or drink and he just slept & slept....appeared very groggy if I ever tried to check on him. 1pm I had had enough...being a warm day I was very worried about his hydration levels. Back to the Vet....this time they kept him for tests. Those tests confirmed the Vets suspicion that he was suffering from Pancreatitis and he would require hospitalization and IV fluids. (I had NEVER heard of dogs getting this, but I have since found out that I know 3 dogs that have had it....) I was told to expect that he could need to be in care for up to 3 days....THANKFULLY when we went to visit him at 8pm last night we found a very different dog, fluids and pain relief had worked wonders (Pancreatitis is excruciatingly painful I am told) This morning he held down the few bites of breakfast they gave him, and he ate a whole bowl at lunch!! Star patient it seems...good enough to be released late this afternoon. MAN it has been scary and it is great to have him home. Though I think I am driving him mad checking on him all the time. I always knew we would be sad to loose Socks. The Vet told me today his breed has a life expectancy of 12-15 years...and he is 13, so it is coming. This week has really bought home to me what an important part of our family He is....and I spent most of it thinking that this was it...that I would not get to bring him glad we have some more time!

So thus ends the week....I am hoping for a much more peaceful weekend....STARTING tonight with a good night sleep....I have been up 3 or 4 times most nights this week. I have a headache now.....and I know it is simply a you need to sleep & de-stress kinda headache!

Thank you to everyone who has sent me messages of encouragement....I really do appreciate it



Saturday, November 6, 2010

Week 7 Recipe Comp.....

I LOVE bacon & eggs, it brings back so many childhood memories of visits with my Grandparents. Was not sure if I would be able to give the up completely so I had to find a new & better way of eating it!! I am now good at getting this served up super quick…..very much a fav of mine!!

Lunch (292 Calories)

Egg & Bacon Salad with Crunchy Garlic Croutons

50 g of Gourmet Lettuce
20 g of Baby Spinach
70 g of Tomato (Chopped)
70 g of Cucumber (Chopped)
50 g of Capsicum, Green or Red (Chopped)
1 egg, large (53g)
50g of Shortcut Rindless Bacon (Cut into thin Strips)
1 Slice of Wholegrain Bread
1Teaspoon of Olive Oil
1 Teaspoon (5g) of MasterFoods Tuscan Seasonings (This contains, garlic, salt, pepper, Rosemary & Parsley)

1 Chop bread into 4 fingers, then cross cut each into 4 so that you have 16 croutons.

2 Place the teaspoon of oil in a small bowl with a good shake of the Tuscan Seasoning. Toss the bread around in the oil making sure that each one gets a good coating.

3 Heat a small non stick fry pan till it is nice and hot & toss the croutons around till then are golden & crispy. Set aside. (These can also be baked in the oven if you like but it seems like a waste to turn the oven on for just a few min)

4 Crack the egg into a cup & beat well. Pour into the still hot fry pan and swirl it around till egg covers the whole bottom of the pan in a thin layer. Reduce heat. Left Undisturbed for a few minutes the egg “Pancake” will cook through. There should be no need to flip it. Remove from pan & set aside to cool.

5 Place bacon in the pan and cook till brown & crispy. (Set aside to cool just slightly)

6 Roll the egg Pancake into a tube, and cut it into ribbons.

7 Place the lettuce, tomatoe, cucumber, capsicum, bacon, egg ribbons & finally croutons in a nice size bowl, grab a fork & tuck in!!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Weigh in day looms once again....

I want to change the day I weigh in....I gotta feeling that tomorrow is going to suck again. Reason: Hormonal disturbances once again, this time ovulation. I look pudgier round the middle today than I did yesterday....uughh fluid again I think. Last Round T.T.O.M. only affect my weigh-in mildly, and I have been wracking my brain to work out why it is having such a roller coaster affect this Round. I have only just remembered that there was a week between Round 2 & 3 and that maybe it was just enough to throw a spanner in the works.... Whatever the reason I am not expecting much tomorrow, hopefully therefore offsetting any major disappointment. I think that I should just get used to every 2nd weigh in day being crap! LOL. See the pattern, trust the program and just keep plodding away. I am starting to get a sniff of the 80's. (It smells good) I am right now closer to 90 than I am 100....and that is very very pleasing.

So in anticipation of the scales not being so kind tomorrow, I am going to list some other milestones as a reminder of the progress I am making.

1. New Sports Bra - Smaller Size
2. New training tops from Kmart - Size 14 (used to be 18-20)
3. New Training Tops from LJ - Size Medium
4. My fav Bonds training pants are starting to fall down :(
5. 2 People took a moment to recognise me today.
6. I got a toot & very long look while walking today.... Seriously I think I was old enough to be their mother....LOL

AND that is all just this week.

Will check in sometime tomorrow.......fingers crossed with some positive news.....Happy scale day to you too...


Monday, October 25, 2010

Busy BUSY day....

Today I planned to make up for some of the exercise I didn't do last week while I was feeling not so good. Instead of a SSS over the weekend I was hoping for an MMM (Massive Manic Monday) That of course was all going to depend on how I woke up feeling....but I packed my swimming stuff ready for the adventure I had planned.

So I walked to the Pool (23min), Did 30 min of laps (10 x 50m) then maybe 20 min in the therapy pool. Showered and walked to the Osteo. appointment. (15min) There for an hour. Walked over the the super market (5 min) Then walked home (30min). I then felt I had enough in my legs to do another walk after dinner so I knocked of 5km in just under an hour. My HRM is going WIERD, readings all over the place and I really don't trust it for my calorie burn. So using the Expenditure chart on the Mish Bridges website, I figured I burned almost 1000 calories today! My best total in ages so I am very very pleased.

As for the Osteopath. I feel like I have found me an Angel. Dr Sarah is a very bright young woman who seems to know what she is talking about. 30min in depth convo about medical history & current issues, then 30min of treatment. She really worked me over but it felt so good!! AND after just 1 treatment, I gained back so much range in the movement of my head. I am very hopeful that with continued treatment I will get some real relief. I actually felt clearer in the head this afternoon than I have for weeks!! The wheels started to come off about 30 min ago though...but after such a big day I am not surprised. So I took some panadol and am now tucked up in bed ready for sleep. It will be interesting to see how I pull up in the morning.

So for now, night night.....I hope you all had a great day.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

The end of Week 5

I seriously can't believe we are almost half way through Round 3. Where has the time gone....uughh anyway anyway anyway......

So weigh in day. I lost me 2.1kg, which seems like a massive amount. But I think we all know that this is really a 2 week loss not 1. WHO CARES.....LOL I have now lost 4.6kg this round, 15.4kg in total. I also thought it was time I update my pictures which I actually promised to do at Week 4 I think. Ppfftt only a week late...LOL I am rather pleased with the result! (If you click on the pic it gets bigger!) I really have lost rolls around the middle haven't I. In fact this week I have caught my reflection in shop windows a couple of times...and didn't hate the glimpse that I got!

I am off to the Osteopath tomorrow,wonder what she will be able to do for me. I have not done any exercise today as I have felt most of the day like I might tip over. My neck feels very very I suspect that is what is causing it! Sigh....

Before the Osteo. I am going for a swim with my mummy! She has been swimming 3 times a week for about a month now. Monday is the only day that I am free to join her at the moment but I do hope that it will become a good routine for both of us. I am very keen to support & encourage her. She has more weight to lose than I started with AND she was diagnosed with Cardiomyopathy earlier this year. Losing some weight would certainly help her tired old heart AND her overall sense of well being.

So will be back in a couple of days to update you on the progress of my Neck & the next weigh in.....



Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Weigh in day....

So tomorrow is weigh in day....quietly hopeful that I will get a VERY decent really this will be last weeks loss as well. (You know with the stupid fluid gain due to it being T.T.O.M. ON weigh in day....

I have my X-ray results back....all the bones are good...nothing nasty, or broken, or degenerative going on. So off to the Osteopath I go. Wonder if she will get a better result than the Physio has (Been 5 months now......??)

Will keep you updated.....



Monday, October 18, 2010

What the Dr said....

All I can say is thank GOODNESS for my iPhone!! Waited almost 90 min..... Poor Doc was so busy, he clicked my name on his computer screen, got distracted and forgot to call me in...THEN he thought he had seen me, cause the computer said he had..LOL He bulk billed me to apologise for leaving me sit there so it is all good.

So he agrees with me that it has all been going on a bit too long. He sent me off for an x-ray to rule out anything nasty and to check for arthritis, he said because I am 43 now??! (How rude to suggest I am getting old) Apparently my Trapezius muscle IS in spasm....surprise surprise.....!! The thing that I am MOST pleased about was that he ASKED if I have been having funny sensations in my head: feeling spaced out, not able to concentrate, not quite there so to speak. I said YES yes on and off, but the last week has been just awful. Seems it is quite common with neck issues. AND that is helpful in me understanding why the Panic Attack happened, I was having some very strange sensations in my head while I was walking that day......

Now I wait for the results of all of the pretty pictures they took of my bones, possibly tomorrow but definitely Wednesday. In the meantime I have some MORE exercises......which I must do 5 times each 5 times a day.... then He has suggested that an Osteopath might be of some use.... ( as long as the is no tumors or bone cysts....cringe!)

But MOSTLY it is always nice to be taken seriously and treated with kindness. Suffering from anxiety, I always worry that I will be treated as a Hypochondriac. Some assume that people who suffer from any of the spectrum of Anxiety disorders are prone to hysteria. I guess it is why I hope for people to get to know ME before the know about my "issues".

Might try and go for a bit of a light trundle soon.......


Thank you....

I just wanted to check in to thank everyone for their kind words of encouragement and support over the last couple of days. I am very good at the helping thing, but usually resist being helped.

I have spent a large part of my adult life struggling, being the one that needed extra help, or whose "situation" need special consideration. I have missed out on holidays, weddings, funerals, birthdays, movies and so many other opportunities and it is really only dawning on me what a limited life I have led. For a long time that didn't bother me, as I guess I didn't realise what I was missing. Besides the fear was so great, at the time I was prepared to give up on those things to keep myself feeling safe. I understand that there is a grieving process of sorts I have to go through.... acknowledgment AND acceptance of the things I cannot get back. I have tried not to get too caught up in regret, but there are days when I am so pissed off with myself for giving up SO much.

I am in a strange place now I guess: terrified of moving forward but now that I have had a taste of what is out there I am even MORE frightened of falling back into my old life. So I guess right now I am a little stuck.

It has been a long road to this point. I had this break down (I say this as it was not my first) when my youngest child was 4 1/2, and just starting Pre school. She is now 13 and almost done with her first year of high school. My recovery really only started about 5 years ago and it has been slow & painful! So hopefully this week as the hormonal fog clears and I can get some more sleep, I will be able find my reasonable self and remember the things that got me this far.

I am starting by going to the Dr soon. I have been having trouble with my neck for almost 5 months now. I have been having regular visits to the Physio but the treatment I have been getting only seems to ease the problem not fix it. I have asked her for an X-ray but she says that it doesn't matter what is actually going on the treatment would stay the same??? I am becoming less satisfied with that answer, and even more frustrated with the constant pain. I suspect on some days it is also the cause of the headaches that I get... I guess I want to know what I am dealing this something I will just need to learn to live with?? Will it get worse?? Can it get better??? I have left it this long as I hoped that exercising and losing weight would help! Obviously not!!

So I better shower & get ready....thanks again guys. It means a lot!


Saturday, October 16, 2010

Apparently the truth sets you free.......

I guess those of you who follow me on Twitter will be aware that I have not had the best of weeks. I have alluded to my misery, but I have held a lot back. It has gotten to the point where I just can't seem to shake the mood that has taken over and I feel the need to get it all off my chest.

So I should warn you what will follow, will be a miserable, self indulgent, self pitying, whiney post..... continue reading if you dare!

I am tired, and everything hurts. It is a type of physical hurt that comes from internal emotional turmoil. The last couple of days I am in a place that I hoped to never be again and I am not sure exactly what put me here. It has been T.T.O.M. so there are the obvious implications of that, I also experience a sort of hormonal sleep disturbance. Each month it affects me to different degrees, this month has been a dozy. I take a long time to go to sleep and then wake often, up to 4 times a night THEN take a long time to go back to sleep. Lack of sleep is my biggest nemesis; it impedes my ability to reason with myself and plays havoc with my anxiety. So this week my base level of anxiety is up and I lost my ability to talk myself down so to speak…..never a good combination.

Wednesday’s weigh in was not a total disaster….only a 100g gain. I had expected more as I was retaining fluid like a sponge. Even knowing there was a very good reason for it…I have still found it very discouraging. (My first gain in almost 4 months) I missed training on Wednesday, but had already decided to take it as my rest day. Thursday I woke up with a plan and after taking the kids to school I set about checking the first thing off my list – walking. Heading out I felt good. Quite tired, but really looking forward to at least getting 4km behind me. I have really come to love my long walks, for so long it was something I couldn’t do. Firstly the Agoraphobia meant I didn’t really go much past my letter box on my own, and then just lately having Plantar Fasciitis in both feet made walking too painful. Unfortunately the wheels started to fall off about 1.5km in. I was really struggling for breath after the big hill and it started to freak me out. I certainly was not breathing any harder than I normally do on that hill….but as explained earlier my ability to talk myself down from that fear state has been seriously compromised this week. The next 1km was very overwhelming, alternating between feeling sick & dizzy then feeling fine. One minute I had talked myself into pushing through, the next I was trying to work out which was the fastest way home….

I have to call it was it was, a Panic Attack. I have not had a proper one for a long time now. I have felt panicked, but it is not the same as a Panic Attack. I have spent the last 2 days trying to convince myself that it wasn’t that thing but I really can’t deny it. AND it has left me with a terrible foreboding fear that this is the beginning of the slide back down the black hole. It is almost like I imagine Post Traumatic Stress Disorder feels like. Just 1 panic attack, and I am back there feeling, smelling, tasting everything my life was before. I have been running scenarios in my head, like movies I am watching of me unraveling. My chest is so tight, even when I am laying down, or sitting still I feel like I can’t get my breath: my head feels like it is swimming most of the time. I have been on the verge of tears for most of the last 3 days and in fact when I am on my own, I do cry. I have had a headache for all of this time, and several times a day my back seems to spasm, which requires me to lie down.

So how does one manage life in this state?? How does one organise a family of 6? Run a business? Exercise? Count calories?? One doesn’t, well one tries and finds herself running in place most of the time lost in a fog of indecision and fear. I imagine you are thinking…but it has only been 3 days? Maybe I AM predicting doom long before it is even inevitable, but I have walked this particular path many times before and I can read the signs. I had come to believe that as I had obviously learned enough to pull myself out before, if faced with it all again, I would sensibly choose a different path. Not so sure about that right now.

To say that my confidence has been shattered would be an understatement and as I write this I have no idea of what to actually DO next.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


It may not look like much, but that little section I walked on Rankin Road is a MASSIVE hill. Short but STEEP! It is also hard to tell from the map, but I took the hill 3 times taking the short loop the first 2 times, then after the 3rd time up I came the long way home. Laying on the bed now have a little rest till my legs stop pinging.



Sunday, October 3, 2010

Ready for Week 3

I am a naughty blogger aren't I!!! Where on earth did the last 2 weeks go??? I really thought it was time for me to stop by and fill you in on what has been going on in my life and my head.....

The Scales: Have thankfully been kind to me for the first 2 weigh ins. 700g in W1, 1.6Kg in W2. That gives me a total for R3 of 2.3Kg,with a total loss of 13.1kg since the beginning of R2. NICE. Reasonably happy with that. I pretty much have a goal of -5kg for each 4 weeks so I am tracking a little behind at this stage. The next 2 weigh ins will be interesting as I am heading into T.T.O.M...... practicing my positive attitude just in case.

The Training: Is going OK. I continue to have a real love/hate relationship with the Training side of this program and I am a little frustrated with this body. It seems the big start to R3 did me in a little, sometime on that Sunday I strained my lower back, which is no surprise really as I have ongoing issues with it. Wasn't feeling it in my back, my hip was & is very sore & I also had a dull ache down the outside of my right leg into my foot. It really did my head in for a couple of days. I want to push myself physically, but I find I am holding myself back, pretty much protecting myself. Therefore It doesn't help the mental aspect of this process when I do get a negative result from a big training session. It just gives that little voice in my head some extra ammunition to fire at me while I debate training or not training. I DO know that I am more likely to include some form of exercise in my day NOW than I was 15 weeks ago. In fact, back at the beginning I would get to 9pm & think oh crap!! I have not exercised yet.......that is when I was so grateful for having the exercise bike in my shed. It was always an after thought. I am getting much better at getting the job done earlier in the day as I am waiting for an opportunity to go do it. HOPEFULLY soon I will be able to convince myself to get up early & get it done before breakfast. ESPECIALLY with the warmer weather coming.

The Food: I have to be honest & say I am not nailing the 1200 every day. There are days when I am just so tired of thinking about food & calories. There is also this whole internal dialogue that goes on over a cookie for example. Do you want it/Do you need it? Yes it will taste good, but how many calories are in it? Look how tiny it is? How much GOOD food could you eat for the SAME calorie count. ( coz for me it is all about volume still) It can get draining and there are days where I can rationalize eating just about anything. Tell me that gets easier? That that focus on quantity will evaporate and I will consume what my body needs to do its work for the day?? Not just in calories but in quantity, because it is possible to eat too many steamed vegies and feel sick even if the calories have been ok. (seriously 100g each of Potato,broccoli, beans, peas & carrots and 50g of sweet potato is only 245 Calories.....but it is a HUGE pile of veg!!)

I so want to be at goal, but keep reminding myself there is things to still is not magically going to happen over night. AND even when I am AT goal I must remain vigilant! As Mish says this is not just about these 12 weeks or the 12 before OR the 12 is about life and learning these lessons for life.

So with that all we charge into W3. I am beginning with a 5km walk after the physio..... I am laughing about it while typing it.....WHO AM I??? Husband is dropping me there on his way out & I am walking home!! Most of it up hill....what a sucker for punishment!!

Night night......

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Kicking off Round 3

I know I have not quite finished my pre season tasks, but I just had to stop in and log some stats from todays get together with some of the Victorian 12WBTer's.

It was just so cool to meet up with so many people I am familiar with from the forums BUT also just as cool to meet some new peeps who have just signed up for R3!! Last round I really just trudged along on my own.....yes I Tweeted, & blogged & visited the forums...but that really meant that everyone was at a distance still. I think today was what I really needed to keep focused and enthusiastic....

So what are the numbers?????

Going UP the steps

46:32 Min
463 Calories
156 Average HR
182 Max HR

Going DOWN the track

25:19 Min
170 Calories
128 Average HR
205 Max HR ???


58:47 Min
520 Calories
146 Average HR
172 Max HR

Not sure where that Max HR of 205 came from going DOWN?? I also got a reading of 204 the other day from carrying some groceries to the car???

Be back soon with the last 2 preseason tasks.....

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Round 3 Task 3 - Set Your Goals

I always find this hard.....but here we go....

1 Month I plan to
Have lost 5kg
Run 1km without stopping
Have built strength

3 Months I plan to
Have lost 15kg
Run 3km without stopping
Continue to build Strength & Completed Intermediate Triathlon
Also some Major Milestone that I cannot even visualize at the moment

6 Months
Have lost 25kg
Run 5km without stopping

12 Months
Have lost 30kg (40kg in total if you include R2) & Kept it off
Enter Run Melbourne- What distance???

The further out the goals get the harder I find it is making them. I look at myself NOW and I LOOK so different & FEEL so much better....I guess I can't believe it could get even BETTER than this!!! It is hard to remember that I am NOT the feeble, GROSSLY overweight unfit person I was just 13 weeks ago....I am now just overweight... LOL

These goals will need revisiting once my reality changes. I guess really once my perception of myself catches up with WHO I actually am....



Friday, September 17, 2010

Round 3 Task 4 - Gear UP

I am SO grateful to have all of this covered!! I was pretty well set up at the start of Round 2....lots of equipment hanging around (from previous "getting fit" attempts)I plan to continue training Outdoors....I am really enjoying my long walks & hopefully that will transition it running.

The one thing I HAVE gotten myself for the start of this Round is a learn to run app for my iPhone.... Oh and some SMALLER training clothes.... Drawstings are wonderful things but I am getting a little too much exposure from my size 18 track pants!!! I also think that I will need to take my $50 athlete's foot voucher that I WON in Round 2 to get some new shoes. The ones I bought for the start of Round 2 seem to be too big. My feet are way less puffy, and Michelle did suggest in one of her video's that it might be an issue at some point!!

Over the 12 weeks of Round 2 I also got myself set up in the kitchen. I was seriously lacking in quality pots & pans etc. It is nice to have the right tools to cook GREAT food! I look forward to getting into the kitchen these days......

SO....I think I am ALL Geared up!!! LOL

Round 3 Task 5 - Say it out loud!

I WILL learn to run!
I WILL follow Michelle's training program
I WILL support & encourage my 12WBT family
I WILL share my journey
I WILL be honest with myself & the 12WBT family
I WILL make good food choices


if I do all of that.....
I WILL lose weight!

Round 3 Task 6 - Kitchen Makeover

This is a task I struggled with last time also, I could not bare the thought of throwing away food we had paid for. AND I don’t live on my own I share my home with a husband and 4 teenage children. Although I do do most of the grocery shopping, I am not the only one who buys food and brings it home. So it really don’t matter if I don’t buy the “crap”, someone else will….. It is just the stage of life I am at .....lots of independent people around me. So last Round I determined to really test my will power muscle…..and it seemed to work for me MOST of the time. LOL Life isn’t lived in a vacuum there will always be temptations…...I have just had to learn REAL quick how to deal with them!!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Round 3 - Task 7 Organise & Diarise

This is actually one of the harder ones for me to do....Well it was in Round 2. Now that may have been because my husband was working was just me & the 4 lots of time in the car on the go. THANKFULLY he is home now to share that aspect of parenting, in fact I have found myself wondering what to do a couple of times this past week............... lets make a little plan & see if it sticks!

We only have a small freezer, so I am not able to store food for a family of 6 for a week in what I have. I had a lot of success shopping every couple of days last round. I do a big shop on Sunday for pantry basics & dinner for Sunday & Monday night...I then tend to play it by ear. No drama in that as my daughter works at a major shopping center & I take her to work every day. Easy to zap in a pick up the fresh ingredients for 1 or 2 meals.

In Round 2, I mostly exercised in the evenings. That I want to change this round. I will continue taking Monday as my rest day as it is the busiest day in my week, the 1 day I have commitments away from home all day. I am lucky to work from home, so I can set my schedule, even shifting some of my work to the evenings if need be. If I learned anything last round it is that the day gets away from you & the chance to actually do your training can evaporate very easily!! I am not an early riser, so will get up & get the kids off to school THEN do my training, shower, dress & do a little housework. I SHOULD then be ready to do a couple of hours work before lunch!!

I have started a learn to run program in the "in between" week....and I will continue this 3 days each week. Tuesday, Thursday & Saturday. That is on TOP OF following Michelle's training plan!! This Round I want not only to lose weight but see REAL physical changes and therefore REAL improvement in my fitness test results!! As the days get longer & warmer...I MIGHT see if I can get up and get my run done prior to getting the kids to school...but seriously that is a HUGE ask for me. LOL

OK I think that is Task 7 done.......



Round 3 - Task 8 Measure Up

Round 3 is ALMOST here.....nutrition & training plans have been released TODAY ready for kick off....BUT I am still working through my pre-season tasks. As you can see I am starting at Task 8 working backwards.

These clothes are new! The pants are a 16(I was Wearing a size 20 jeans at the start of R2), the top a Medium (L-XL at the start of R2) You may notice the muffin top has returned as I have had to ease myself into the pants. Not intending to wear them in public just yet: I wanted something on hand READY for that first proper warm day and I AM going to be another few KG lighter by then. (Oh and Target was having a sale......LOL) I plan to take a pic in week 6, then week 12 wearing the same clothes. It will be exciting to see the difference: so much easier to compare if I am wearing the same clothes. I also wanted a before shot that I would be happy to show more publicly.

NOW for the all important numbers....

R Thigh:72cm
L Thigh:71cm

I have uploaded a shot in my underwear for my official before photo. I wasn't that brave at the beginning of Round 2..........

I will be back with Task 7!



Sunday, September 12, 2010

The very last day of Round 2!!

Where oh where have the last 12 weeks gone??? I really cannot believe that it is over?? Seems like a good opportunity to reflect on what I have achieved during Round 2, because tomorrow I start on pre season tasks for Round 3. I have deliberately tried not to think about R3: I did not want to forget in the whirlwind that is pre season that I was still plodding away on R2.

I have been looking over my goals.....very interesting as I have not looked at them since I made them 12 weeks ago.

In that first week I acknowledged that I was a great starter....not so great with the finishing....Well I am still here!!! Think I can check that off the list as done & dusted.

Weight Loss goals. I said that at 1 month I wanted to have lost 3kg, I had lost 3.7kg. At 3 months I wanted to have lost 8kg, I have in fact lost 10.8kg in the 12 weeks. That puts me a LONG way towards my 6 month goal of a 15kg loss... Yup can check that off the list too. I HOPED to be under 100kg, but at the time I didn't even write it down. I guess I could not believe it was at all possible. I am by the way...99.2kg to be exact.

Fitness/Training. Lets just say that this is the area that I have exceeded my expectations. Most of my fitness test results prove that..well other than the Ab test....LOL I always knew that if I got myself moving...I would shift the weight. But I was so timid about exercising that I was not really confident of being able to achieve anything of significance.... The biggest goal I set myself in that area was to maybe a couple of times a week be riding or walking for 45 min.... and I have been doing that, easily. I decided yesterday to give it a good push and just see how far I could go. I managed to knock out an 8km walk in about 100min. The thing that let me down was my feet.....if not for them I could have done more. My body handled it really well. Very little soreness, even today!!! When I started around 2km was my limit, my feet hurt after the first 500m....LOL Man how things have changed!! Yesterday I even ran to catch the lights at a pedestrian crossing???? 12 weeks ago I could not have run to save myself! Oh and I did a bit of a triathlon.....LOL

Although I am proud of what I have achieved, I know I have more in me!! I am really looking forward to the next round. I plan on following the training program more closely, this time having mainly done my own thing. I really want to see BIG improvements in the fitness test.

It has been a wild ride....but I know it is only the beginning.....


Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Day 80 - Final official Weigh in Day...

Thought I would share with you my before & After pictures.....What do you think???

This week I lost me a grand total of 10.8kg for this last official weigh in. There is much contention on the forums as to when the last weigh in should be....I myself will be weighing myself again on Sunday to get my personal final total....Round 3 does not start till the 20th so I am hopeful of losing around another 1kg by then....setting my sights a little higher this round....if I can do this just dabbling, what could I do if I gave it a good crack????

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Day 79 - Week 11 Testimonial (just a little late)

The last month has just been insanely busy. THANKFULLY husband is back from his long long trip to Tassie to work and that means someone to share the load!

So tomorrow is the LAST weigh in for this Round and I am ITCHING to get it done and dusted!! I so want to get that 10kg loss.....SO wanna see it! Going to sleep soon so I can wake up soon. I always wake up before my alarm on weigh in day.......freaky I know!!!

How did I go in Week 11 you ask.... I lost 500g (1/2 Kg) which took me to 100.5kg!! So close to that goal, only another 500g off and I am there. I really want to see 99. something tomorrow. I think if I see 100kg on the knocker I will be mildly disappointed...trying to keep it in perspective and remember to be proud as that will be EXACTLY 10kg!!

Also in Week 11, we were set the task of recording a Testimonial Video. I didn't get time to have it posted by the deadline but I did want to make sure that I got it done. The Video is below.....I am getting a little better and keeping them short. (this 1 was only 5 min over not 15 min...LOL)

Roll on weigh in day........



Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Day 72

So here I am again, the night before weigh in......and I didn't even update you as promised last Wednesday....... is what happened LAST Weigh in day......

The scales played tricks on me again....I hopped on 4 times and got 101kg.....VERY VERY excited as that made a 1.3kg loss in a week. BUT as I couldn't really believe it, after doing my measurements I hopped back just to see that number again....and it was 101.4kg????? So which number should I take?? I asked my Tweeps....and they all said take the 101kg, reminding me if I had not wanted to see the number again I would never have I did..... My measurements were also great Chest -2cm, Waist - 3cm, Hips -2cm & Thighs -2cm!!!

I have however carried a little fear in the back of my head that taking the lower weight would come back to bite me this week......ONLY TOMORROW WILL TELL!

I managed well with accelerator day again today..I find it so much easier to stick to the 1200 cals for the day on these days.....SO lets just hope that it will do the trick and get me closer to those double figures....I just so want to get that 10kg total loss for Round 2!!!!!! just 1kg away....wouldn't it be sweet to get it tomorrow and have an extra week up my sleeve to EXCEED my goal for this round!!!!

SO I will be back to tell you...but maybe this time I will not promise for it to be tomorrow......



Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Is it Day 65???

I really can't believe it has been a week since I blogged. Far too many distractions this week just gone, had my head spinning.

It is weigh in day tomorrow, the 3rd last one for this round. I promise I will pop in to report on my results at some point tomorrow. Not sure how I am feeling about it. A couple of days ago I was very positive, but the night before always brings doubts. So I will see you tomorrow......fingers crossed for a good one.


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Day 58 (Before the day really began)

Have had a miserable couple of days......head cold really set in! NOT FUN. BUT if it wasn't for that I would be feeling great. Very pleased with how I have pulled up....proves just how much my fitness has improved over the last 8 weeks.

The Triathlon has been an interesting experience. When I first heard about it I thought....NO way, there is NO WAY I can do that. Then I looked at the requirements and thought hang on that is really not out of my reach. So I did it, and with little trouble. Yes I was slow but I had not set out to break any records. In the last couple of days I have been telling people what I have done and the look on their faces is so funny....and I wonder is it so hard to believe that I did??? I mean I guess if you look at me I am still over typically people of my size do not do such things....

So I have gone from NO way to "of course I did it"?? Like it is the sort of thing I have always done......just another day at the office. Funny that!!!

Still mulling over the MAJOR milestone. I am not able to get to the party, so need to come up with my own. I guess Michelle might give us some hint as to what would be suitable.....



PS Later in the proper part of the day......

Friday, August 13, 2010

Day 54

PS Well my bag is packed, my HRM is in my shoes so I don't forget it. I have a buddy to take along and I have been on a reconnaissance mission to the gym. In fact the boys at the gym were just lovely to me...I really was very self conscious about telling them what I was doing and why. They seemed a little surprised, but said that if I could come on Sunday when they were both working again they would make signs and cheer me on!!! Shame I can't do it on Sunday!!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Day 52 - Weigh in Day...

I know I say it is Day 51......LOL lets put that down to excitement...

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Day 49

Here is the recipe I just put up for the Week 7 surprise comp.....

Spicy Tomato & Beef Casserole (Mild)

Dinner ( 4 x 350g serves = 301 Cals per serve)

This takes a little while to actually cook, but it is very quick to prepare. I use my lovely cast iron casserole dish that can go on the stove top and in the oven. I usually do it on the weekend when I am home in the afternoon. I don’t have a slow cooker, but I wonder if it would be suitable to cook one??

500g Heart Smart Casserole Beef (or Lean steak cubed)
1 Med Brown Onion - Chopped
2 Cloves Garlic - Crushed
2 Med Carrots - Chunky Chopped
4 Sticks Celery - Chunky Chopped
2 Cups of Beef stock
2 410g Cans of Ardmona Thick & Rich Crushed Tomtoes (I can Plain & 1 can roasted Capsicum)
1 Teaspoon Dried Mixed Herbs
1 Teaspoon Masterfoods Tuscan Seasoning
1/2 -1 Teaspoon of Keens Traditional Curry Powder (If you like it hot….you might like to add something extra to add a bit of after burn…...LOL)


Brown the beef, onion & garlic in a little oil.
Add the rest of the ingredients and heat till the liquid just comes to the boil.
Cover (with a lid or foil) and pop into the oven…bake for 90 min at 180 degrees. Remove the lid and bake for a further 30 min. (Those cooking times are what works in my oven… may need to adjust for yours…..)

If you feel the sauce as reduced too much, add water until it reaches a consistency you are happy with.

Alternate Serving suggestion:
Although a bowl of this casserole is delicious on its own you can reduce the portion size and serve with some sides.Out of these ingredients I got 7 x 200g serves.

‘200g Serve Of Casserole = 175 Cals
1/2 Cup Cooked Brown Rice =122 Cals
50g Steamed Zucchini = 9 Cals
50g Steamed Broccoli = 16 Cals
Total = 322 Cals

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Day 47

Be warned....I am tired and rambled on a bit......LOL

Ok so I rambled too much and youtube rejected the video.......que serra serra!!!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Day 45

Bit raw tonight.....I hope it doesn't frighten anyone away......



Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Day 44



PS....I ended up doing the dishes while the video housework fairy in my place tonight!!!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Day 43

It has been a loooong day....and I didn't realize how tired I looked till I watched the video back.......LOL



Sunday, August 1, 2010

Day 42 Part 2

Day 42

I am a bad blogger aren't I...I guess that means I am focusing on the program...well mostly. LOL

Today is Sunday...the final day in Week 6 and that marks the halfway point in the program. Here are my stats so far.

Weight: -5.3kg
Chest: - 4cm
Waist: -12cm
Hips: - 5cm
Thighs: -3cm each

This week we had the option of making a video about how the 12WBT is helping us live an extraordinary life. Here is mine

Roll on week 7-12



Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Day 30

Weigh in day tomorrow.....hhmmmm. Calorie deficit is GREAT.....should get a good result....but who knows!!!!



Sunday, July 18, 2010

Mini Milestone Day

It is so bizzare....this map says that I only completed 4.89km...but my phone and the website say it was 5.03km???? who cares. I DID A 5KM WALK in UNDER an hour!!!!



Monday, July 12, 2010

Day 22 - Fitness Test 2

Today I completed the fitness test again.....I am very pleased with my results. Slowly slowly chipping away....

Part 1 - Time Trial

Week 1: Completed (Walk): Distance 1.00 km, Duration 0:11:17, Pace 11:20 min/km, Speed 5.3 kph.
Week 2: Completed (Walk): Distance 1.00 km, Duration 0:09:52, Pace 09:51 min/km, Speed 6.1 kph.

Part 2 - Push up Test

Week 1:5 completed
Week 2:12 (still not getting very low and coach says it is not good enough but I think my form is better and my ability to get lower will improve.)

Part 3 - Ab Strength Test

Week 1: 1.....just 1.
Week 2: Still 1

Part 4 - Wall Sit

Week 1: 5 sec
Week 2:14 sec......better!

Part 5 - Sit & Reach Test

Week 1:-4.5
Week 2 : -1.....I got some flexibility back!!!!!Wonder if I will ever get into the +'s